On a Mountain

Tonight I realized the depth of my sadness.

I'm currently experiencing euphoria, and it's actually a double-edged sword. On the one hand, i'm feeling a great sense of achievement, and it's very fulfilling and motivational. On the other, I can feel the inner sorrow isolating and accumulating within.

I am starting to appreciate the importance of reading, and why there are certain books you wanted me to read, or certain shows to watch. It would perhaps be a very good way for me to understand and handle circumstances in real life. It would perhaps help me to learn how to hold on, and to let go. It took me a long time to realize them, but now I finally got it. Perhaps, once again, too late.

But one thing I got from this is that I now have something. This something would help me decide in a less impulsive manner. It would help me create a better basis for everything that I would decide to do. And despite all of this...despite all the joy that I'm experiencing right now, A big part of me remains empty, abandoned.

I don't feel that I'm unloved. I'm longing for that irreplaceable part of me that was lost.